Corresponding Oxymora

ox·y·mo·ron
n. pl. ox·y·mo·ra or ox·y·mo·rons

A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist

An Analytical Allegory of An Antagonistic Attraction

(Or, in layman’s terms, a funny comparison of the differences between Royce and I.)

(Biblical Reference: Inequality begets Egalitarianism)

I am…He is

I am Crunchy Fries, he is Soft Fries.

I am Rollercoasters, he is Lazy Rivers.

I am Smart Water, he is Dr. Pepper.

I am Home Schooling, he is Home Building.

I am Steady Jogging, he is Bicycle Racing.

I am Hammocks and Shade Trees, he is White Water Rafting in Full Sun!

I am Gifted Learner, he is School of Hard Knocks.

I am The Sound of Music, he is The Matrix.

I am Alison Krauss, he is The Pet Shop Boys.

I am $50.00 hair trims, he is Backyard Buzzes.

I am Lead Foot, he is Slow Lane.

I am Baskets of Laundry, he is One Load at a Time.

I am Farm Roots, he is City Bred.

I am Fresh Eggs w/Organic Bacon, he is Pop-Tarts and Instant Coffee.

I am Extroverted Loner, he is Confident Introvert.

I am iPod, he is Vinyl Record Collection.

I am 2004 Honda Odyssey, he is 2007 Saturn Ion.

I am complicated Excel Spreadsheets, he is a simple shopping list.

Edited 1/7/2008:

This was originally published to the blog on July 2, 2006, after a meal at McDonald’s. Royce and I were letting the kids play and we were digging through the last of the fries. I wanted all the small crunchy ones and he wanted all the long soft ones. It balanced out and we laughed about it and we both started making the following list there at McDonald’s. I finished it later and posted it on the blog. He thought it was very clever and I decided it should get to graduate to a “Page” where I can start adding to it again. It is a fun exercise and I really do like thinking about our differences. God is so funny when He puts 2 people together…one way to look at all the differences is in a negative light – we have nothing in common, how depressing. The other way is positive and affirming and relationship building – look at how much we have to share with each other! It’s all in the perspective! I try to stay in the positive…but sometimes it can be frustrating. I’m not gonna lie to you, folks. But we did hit our 12 year anniversary a few days ago. So. We’re making it. One day at a time sometimes. But we’re making it. There’s a lot of smiley faces in that paragraph!! <– Those were just for fun!